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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, finding a mate has only become more confounding – an frequently fruitless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the words this generation is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your choice to date a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that immediately kill any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {